Dating THEN vs NOW…(a reader’s choice)

A few days ago, I did a reader’s choice on my Instagram. I allowed my followers to comment different topics that they would like to read about on my blog. I plan on doing this occasionally, so if you don’t follow me already, please feel free (_miss.bubs) because your idea could be featured! Anywho, I chose this topic because I didn’t think there was much of a difference, but after a quick conversation (and a lot of laughs) there is a huge difference between dating back then and dating now. When I say “then” I mean when I was in high school. I’m not comparing to 90’s babies dating vs millennials. Writing that will be too easy because kids these days are on another level.

Then:

We were young so it took a lot more to go out on a date, let alone have a boyfriend/girlfriend. There were parents, siblings, and nosey neighbors involved in your every move. I remember being jealous of some of my peers who’s parent’s worked too much or just didn’t care about what their 15-18 year old was doing out in the streets. There was always that group of people who was always outside, getting drunk, smoking, etc. I remember thinking to myself “where the hell are your parents?” and “why are mine so extra?”. We all may not have grown up the same way, but I’m positive we all have dealt with at least one of these things during our high school years.

  • Curfews– Ugh! Having to be home by a certain time while everyone else was allowed to be out later than that. There was nothing worse than having a 10pm curfew when that was the time the party really got started. You would think that your parents would be little bit more lenient when it comes to a date. Some parents get excited while others dread the simple thought their little human going on date with some heathen. Most of the time that curfew is even more strict than usual. That means that you better be in the house by 10pm, not 10:01 or beyond. They don’t care if the movie ended at 9:50pm, you better find a way to teleport home.
  • Saying with your friends when you’re really with your boy/girlfriend– People with strict parents probably have done this every time they go out. Another reason to do this was when you were with someone that your parents absolutely hated. I have done this with both scenarios. While I was out with my friends, somehow my boyfriend would just happen to show up.
  • Promise Rings– Oh my goodness. Both of my best friends are probably laughing at this, but back in the day it was important to us to get a promise ring from the one we loved. A promise ring was simply a cheap ass ring that your boyfriend bought (with most likely his parents’ money) to promise never to lie, cheat, or break your heart. He promised to protect you, love you, and replace that cheap ass ring with an engagement ring. It never happens, but it’s the thought that counts. Honestly, I don’t even think guys know what a promise ring means. I actually received a promise ring and it was real. Every promise was broken, so there’s that.
  • SEX– After age 16, it was like the thing to do. Everyone was humping everything and everyone. Hormones were raging and people where looking for their next orgasm like it was a drug. We were willing to do it anywhere and any time. There was car sex, couch sex, floor sex, bathroom sex, bleacher sex, sex in the parents’ bed. You name it, we came there (no, I never had the balls to have sex in my parents’ bed). The downfall, everyone knew by the next day. For most us, we wanted to be sure that we were in love and doing it with the right person. They wanted their first time to be special and made sure everyone knew that they were “doing it”. Some of us just threw away our virginity just to get it over with and there’s nothing wrong with that option.
  • Condoms– It was the cool thing to have because no one wanted babies in high school. We didn’t have 16 and Pregnant to scare/encourage us. We had parents who were allowed to give beatings without having to worry about child protective services stopping by. Most parents around that time would kick you out for having a child out of wedlock while in high school. Different flavors and sizes were and still are available at literally any store (for free at Planned Parenthood. Go get yours now before Trump shuts it down). Helpful hint for the guys, pulling out the right sized condom is good advertisement for what you have packing down there. Instead of whipping it out and risking a sexual harassment charge, just reference the golden Magnum ticket in your wallet. You’re Welcome.
  • Rounds– And I’m not talking about a boxing match. Remember when it was guaranteed 2-4 rounds of sex before anyone tapped out. To have that stamina again. I mean, I could still do it, I would just need a good 12 hours of sleep to recuperate.
  • Getting Caught– Being in high school, we would always hears stories about people getting caught in the act by their parents. It was what I always looked forward to because at the end of the day, it wasn’t me. We would go through the great lengths of jumping out windows, hiding in closets for hours, or hiding under the bed just so we didn’t get caught in the act. I think it was more the embarrassment than the fear of what our parents would do to us. If you have an “I got caught” story, please comment what happened below. I would love to hear it!
  • Dates– Yeah, just don’t expect anything fancy. Most broke high schoolers had dates to the park or dinner with family. If you had a job, the issue was getting there (if you didn’t have a car) and the interrogation you had to go through before leaving the house. This brings embarrassment to both parties, but also a conversation starter over appetizers.

Now:

Now that we are older and more mature, things to seem to get a lot more complicated. When we were young, we can’t wait to move out so that we can date in peace. You don’t have to tell your parents every person you’re dating (especially if you’re serial dating, they can’t judge), you get to keep them to yourself for a little bit before introducing them to the friends and family, and you can sleep around. Women are setting their standards, while men test the waters. Some of us are focused on careers and love is the last thing on their agenda. Others, focus on starting a family and settling down. Those who force it have the hardest time, but you never know what may happen. From our mid twenties to early thirties we realize just how hard dating and keeping a relationship can be.

  • Social Media– This has ruined everything! If you have a valid argument as to how social media has made dating better, please comment below. I’m sure there will be no comments on this matter. Cheating has been made easier, but getting caught is more likely as well. People feel more comfortable shooting their shot online than face to face. If you are seen in public, the other person is more willing find you on Instagram or Facebook and send a friend request rather than walking up to the person, introducing yourself, and asking for his or her number. Now I’m not saying that everyone does this, but it is the majority. Some people genuinely have successful relationships that started on social media, you just have to be careful.
  • Intentions– I’ve learned that you have to make you intentions clear. When a girl meets someone that they really like, she already planned out the next 5 years of your lives. If you just want to hit it and quit it, make that clear. Give the other person the choice on if they want to continue to be with you. Save them from the heartbreak later. Which leads me to my next point…
  • No commitment– When we are younger, I feel like we commit a lot faster than when we are older. We’ve had heartbreak after heartbreak and at some point we give up completely. Some people never want to get married, some don’t want a family, and most just want to fuck around. To each his own. Some people are old school and look forward to working and coming home to a big family whereas some people are just fine coming home to a pet in their one bedroom apartment.
  • Standards– Because we all of been through so much, we create these standards that their next person have to meet or they’re not good enough. There’s nothing wrong with having standards, just make sure that they are reasonable. Don’t be jobless, living at home with your parents, no car, no income, but have the standards of a man with a lot of money, a job, and a car. That’s not fair. Create your standards based on what you have to offer and what would make you significant other an equal partner. Standards aren’t for what makes you look better, it’s about what would make your relationship better.
  • Work– Ugh! Work gets in the way of everything. Especially when you don’t have a normal 9-5 (or another consecutive schedule). When schedules conflict, I feel like it discourages the relationship. One person always thinks that it’s not working for a reason, so they let it go. Do we become more superstitious? Random.
  • Past Relationships/Baggage– We all come with baggage and I’m not talking about suitcases. The demons of the past haunt us, especially when we see repeated behavior with our new lovers. We always have to prove that we are nothing like the last, but even that can take a toll one someone. Then we have the case of the ex. They always pop up trying to see if they still have chance or you become curious to see if you still have a chance. Your faithfulness will always be tested, but as an young adult there will always be a battle with temptation.
  • Children– We also have to come to terms with the fact that every person we date might have a little human attached to them. Children can easily be won over, but I feel like too many people get into the relationship thinking that they have to now become this child’s other parent. That is not the case. Most single parents are just looking for good role models in their lives. The number one question I get when a guy has shown interest in me and I tell him I have a child is, “So what’s the situation with his dad?”. What do you mean??? Obviously we are not together and he will never..never…NEVER have another shot with me. I’m comfortable answering those questions because I know that our “relationship” is strictly business. He is not allowed to ask about me, only “our” child. Co-parenting is another thing that we have to get used to. Good dads (and sometimes moms) are hard to come across. So let him be a dad! If he has to spend time with the child, show up to events, etc. then it is what it is. It’s just another thing that tests our maturity. If you’re jealous, being with someone who has children is not for you.
  • SEX– Finally! Boy has it changed in a lot of ways. Where do I begin? Leg pain, back pain, fupas (fat upper p*ssy area), love handles, etc. Not only do we have to worry about all of that, we have to worry about how soon is too soon. Some people think that there isn’t a big difference whether you have sex on the first night or the 90th. If the relationship was meant to be, it will be. Then we have things like Tinder and Plenty of Fish where people meet up strictly to have sex. These apps were created to make dating easier, but really people use it to find the next notch on their belt. It’s sad because I’ve known a few people who actually use it in hopes to find someone, but they get the weirdos. The one good thing about sex is that you’re an adult and it is not frowned upon for you to have loud, rough sex for all of your neighbors to hear.
  • Wrap it up?– Did we forget about this? Raw is the new thing and we just pray nothing happens? I know it feels better, but when you don’t know the status of your partner or if you’re not ready for children, why do we set ourselves up? Just a question. When we were younger we were told not to fall for it when the guy said “if feels better without it” but yet we fall for it when we get older? WE don’t make sense!
  • Peer Judgement– Why do we care so much what people thing? If the guy or girl isn’t fit, doesn’t have much money, doesn’t have a nice car, we think of things to quickly explain why these things are the way they are. We want everyone to love them, but does it really matter? There’s a reason why you are with them and that’s all that matters. Now if they suck and multiple people are telling you that they suck, you might want to look into that. Not everyone is a hater.

Man how times have changed. I’m sure there are more that can be added so comment below! Especially the ones for when we were younger. Reminiscing on the stupid shit that we did is probably the most fun about this post. We all can relate in some way. Until next time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 Comments Add yours

  1. AP says:

    Lmao this post did exactly what it was meant to do…I️ smiled the whole way through haha

    Like

  2. Kristen says:

    Aya I cried man I was like oh man memories 😂😂😂

    Like

  3. WoRdaDDict says:

    Lol! This whole article is all truth. Awe, I remember getting my first promise ring. Kids these days don’t know what they’re missing out on. Everything is too quick and too adult. Gone are the days of innocent flirting-dating.

    Liked by 1 person

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