When a baby is born, the mother is terrified. It doesn’t matter how many children she has had previously, no woman goes into delivery saying “I got this! I’m ready!” unless she’s Superwoman. The baby is placed on her chest wailing for someone to turn out the lights and put it back where it came from. As the baby grows we document its cutest moments. Countless pictures and videos are shared. First steps, first words, first curse word, everything is shared. Then one day, it stops and we don’t know why. I do. Everything they do isn’t cute anymore. The very thing that we once laughed at and thought was cute is now the thing that you hate most about your kid. In true child fashion, they do it over and over again to make you laugh. When it’s not funny anymore, it’s too late.
This usually happens during the terrible twos. Your toddler is waddling around the house yelling “no” whenever they see fit. At first you’re like “omg” and laugh it off. Then 3 years later BOOM you tell your kid to do something and they scream “no” and they really don’t do it.
First, let me say that my son does not do this to me. He had his period when he would tell me that he didn’t want to. That period didn’t last long at all. Like no more than a day. Most people define me as a military mom. Once I felt that baby T was no longer a baby, I began making sure that he was responsible for a few things around the house (cleaning up his toys, cleaning up after himself, etc.). When he would pee in the bed after the age of 4, I would make him clean his laundry (with my assistance). Bed-wetting didn’t last long at all. A lot of people criticize me of my methods, but I’m a single mom. I have to teach my child to be a man and a responsible human being as best as I can.
While people have commended me for how well behaved he is in public, behind closed doors it takes A LOT of work. Lately things have gotten so much harder because he is older. His personality is constantly changing and he’s a real person with valid feelings. He has been diagnosed with ADD. I say is Absent Dad Disorder but the doctor says it’s Attention Deficit Disorder. The medication that he was originally prescribed changed him from a fun kid who just couldn’t focus to a tired and miserable brat with a short fuse. He was mean, he talk back, wouldn’t do what he was told. You name it. Because his insurance sucks, they said that he had to finish out the medication before they will approve for the doctor to change it. After an emotional month, we were able to change the medication. It has definitely helped him in a way, but I’m still not satisfied with it. I’ve been looking up natural ways to help him focus in class. Before getting a prescription, he wasn’t having a behavioral problem. He just has issues focusing and retaining information. I hated having to make the decision to turn to medication, but I had to do something. The positive is that his grades are way up and he is smarter than ever. I just don’t want him to lose a piece of him. If that makes any sense.
I’ve been planning to figure out different ways that I can keep him on track at home. For example, a responsibility chart will help remind him of his daily duties. I want to hang it in his room so he sees it and he can mark off what he has and hasn’t done. Also, he has shown a great deal of interest in boxing. There’s a boxing gym around the corner from me that he would fit right in. It’s a group of men who help young boys with discipline and staying focused. He definitely needs that. Lastly, allowance. I never really agreed with allowance but it just might me the motivation he needs to help me around the house. He’s very big on saving and I very big on earning your keep.
I know kids go through phases and growth spurts that will change their attitudes but something’s got to give! My last straw was last week when I told him to clean his room. I continued to clean the kitchen, while he was “cleaning his room”. He put two toys in the toy chest for show and I didn’t see him after that. Normally he comes and says goodnight but I just assumed he was mad since I made him clean his room first. I go into his room two hours later and he is SLEEPING. His room: A MESS. Everything I told him to clean up remained scrambled all over his room. After counting to ten and taking several deep breaths, I woke him up and made him clean his room. Was he mad? Of course. Did I care? Not at all. Savage mom.
I have stories for days about the things that I have done to my son to teach him a lesson. I like to go the “Cosby Show” and “My Wife and Kids” way. They make their children learn through experience. They make decisions and they learn what could and would happen in the real world. Only thing is that parents won’t always be around to save them. If you watched these shows growing up, you will know what I’m talking about. Since they made spanking “illegal” we have to get creative nowadays.
Comment below some things you do to keep your kids on track or if you’ve dealt with a child with ADD/ADHD. Help us help each other!