There have been plenty of posts about me disappearing and coming back. The main reason is that I get into my own head and become depressed after a while. Sometimes it’s so bad that I don’t even know how to deal with it. For the most part, I don’t even realize I have reached a depressed state. It’s not until I’m wondering why I’m feeling the way I do and a quiet atmosphere to realize that I have reached a state of depression. I begin to wonder why certain things that would usually bother me, don’t. I become so numb. One thing after another piles on and then I’m like fuck it. Whatever else happens I don’t give a flying fuck about it. I move on like nothing ever happened. Yes, this is not a good way to handle things. Tell my brain that. It’s not good for many reasons. One, being that you true feelings about certain situations are never truly addressed. They are just put aside or brushed under a rug. Please believe that those things will come crawling out of that rug to visit you at some point. Two, in all reality, you don’t feel better in the end. I find myself listening to a song that will lead me to think of something that happened so long ago. Something that I thought was dead and gone. Then I’m looking crazy because I just went from happy to sad in within the time of a chorus. It’s not a good look. Either way, depression is not an easy thing to get over or deal with. Everyone handles it differently. Some have healthy habits while others handle it in the worst way possible. Always remember that depression can lead to other serious addictions and it’s always best to get help. It’s not always drugs! It could be food, alcohol, sex, relationships, etc. Whatever it is, get help.
While I wouldn’t mind being addicted to sex with my man, we’re are a bit to busy for that. I do have my own coping methods that I would like to share. It took time for me to get here because I too did not have healthy coping methods, but I learned what made me truly feel good. My goal is to help a reader or give ideas that could become useful.
It has definitely been a good way to clear and calm the mind. It also puts you in tune with your body. I blogged about doing yoga before, but the research got in the way of the actual satisfaction of the workout. I wasn’t benefiting from it as much as I would like to. Once I stopped the research and started to actually put my mind to it, it is a very relaxing way to start my days. Meditation has helped me in so many ways. I am forever grateful that I was curious enough to try it. People who know me personally know that I can and will go a mile a minute. I’m always on “go” which is why when my depression hits, it hits pretty hard. I was never aware that I was heading in that direction because of the many distractions around me. I don’t know until I’m already there. I get too busy taking care of everyone else and not myself.
Spend Some Alone time With Yourself
Nothing better than getting some time to myself. Quiet can be a good and a bad thing for some people. For me, it depends on the mood I’m in. Staying a quiet space may bring terrible thoughts. An idle mind is the devil’s playground. Other times I would just want to be around someone. They don’t have to do anything. We could just watch a movie, eat, whatever. Just chill. When the thoughts become too much, they can be my distraction.
Writing how I feel or writing a story has become so soothing for me. When no one else understands, my journal is the only thing that can comfort me. Also, I like to look back on everything that I overcame. It’s motivation that I can get through anything. You never know what can come from the things you’ve experienced.
For the days I want to escape my own reality and live another life for a little bit, I read. In a quiet space, outside, in a car, anywhere. It can calm me better than any person. When I get writer’s block, reading inspires me to get started again.
Talk To Someone
I don’ t have a therapist. I tried it before and it did not go well. I left overthinking about what we discussed and was feeling worse than I did before I walked in the door. It brought me down on a good day and I hated that. With that said, I do have a good group of people whom I trust that I can confide in when I’m ready. Though they are not forced with confidential clause, I would hope that I could trust them enough. Depending on the situation it feels good to be able to call someone and rant. My best friend and I literally call each other and the moment the other answers we say, “I need to vent.” As if we really need permission but that introduction says a number of things:
- Don’t put me on speakerphone
- Are you able to talk?
- This may not even require a response
Having that person is important and it helps me get through a lot. Sometimes you just need to get it off of your chest and someone to listen. When they call you, be sure to answer. This is a two way street. You never know.
As I said before, this is just what I do. I’m not suggesting that you do the same, but for those who are new to experiencing depression, find healthy and calming ways to cope. Healthy habits have healthy benefits. It would be worse for you to start an addiction that you cannot afford and would be detrimental to your health. Depression will impact your health on its own. Anything else will just make it much worse. Get the help and remain consistent. Always remember that you do not have to fight this battle alone. If anyone needs someone to talk to or just to vent, feel free to message me in the contact me section. I am willing to listen.
Mental Health has become a serious topic and the goal is for everyone to be able to speak freely about their illness so that they can seek help. If you know anyone, be the one to change their lives.
*I am not a doctor or therapist, only a friend.
Depression Hotline- 866-219-7837